It´s now a Useco protected sight which means money is given to restore and take care of the place, but our guide told us that the Mayor just steals all the money and buys him and his family loads of jeeps.
But I´m not Michael Palin so it´s back to the stream of rubbish that flows through my head.
There´s no prices on anything in Colombia, so you have to ask every time, and when you do ask the seller will look you up and down and judge quickly:
1. If you look stupid enough to be charged way over the odds for the pineapple
2. If you´re American, again so they can charge you more as they don´t like Americans
3. And if you´ll try to haggle them down on the price
After doing this when buying anything (even bus tickets, they´ll say a price, you ask for a discount, and they go ´yeah, ok´. Imagine that on the 38. nuts!) it gets a bit boring. and you feel like someone´s trying to cheat you all the time.
We get a boat trip down the river to another village that isn´t Useco protected and is a lot more raw. I noticed that a lot of the houses keep pigs as pets, and they let them wander around the village all day, then make there way home at night. I couldn´t work out if they played fetch with the pigs though.
They also organize mis-matched fights between Iguanas and monkeys. which is nice.
In Colombian bars there is a culture of showing off that you have the biggest sound system and flat screen TV. The TV´s show the video to the song that´s being played, and this is the norm. You have giant screens playing the videos, while the volume is so loud that you can´t speak to the person sitting next to you. It´s very strange.
And the music policy is, frankly, fucking nuts. They´ll play Salsa and traditional Colombian music, mixed with banging reggaeton and Paul Simon´s ´you can call me Al´ which I´ve heard in 3 different bars in 2 weeks! And it´s not even the good video with Chevy Chase, it´s live from about ´88.
And if I ever meet David Guetta I´m going to punch the floppy haired French surrender monkey so hard. that he´ll never make another video ever again. He´s got 4 songs over here that get played EVERYWHERE! Especially the one with Akon. Wankers.
You just can´t escape the little shit, him and Kelly Rowland, him and Estelle, him on his own, it´s borderline ruining my trip.
Saturday night is rave night in Mompos, so in the main square, 4 bars that face each other pull their massive speakers out and face them into the square. They then proceed to play music over the top of each other and comically loud volume until the early morning. Large men in large jeeps sit around drinking rum and beers, but there´s almost no girls out. I ask Cherie, who´s been living in Colombia for 2 years,
"Where are the ladies?"
"At home, pregnant" came the short reply from Cherie.
Quite a lot of Cherie´s comments are fairly short and to the point. Here´s a selection:
´Arseholes´= Colombian men
´Poncy fashion people, hanging out in Dalston, wearing pork pie hats´ = me, and her friend Amy.
´Twats´ = People in general
´Fuck off Shakira´ Well. Shakira mostly.
But she was super lovely and did say that the culture is more towards the women keeping the home while the men go out and,
"get fat, and sleep with other women........arseholes!"
It´s so hot here but about 40% of people wander around in jeans and shirts. I burst into tears everytime I leave an air conditioned room, but these people walk around in their Sunday best!
And I´m getting eaten alive by mosquitos. There about as useful as Jade Goody, but slightly more annoying. My legs are covered in big lumps that bleed all the time. It´s never ending.
Me and my new super best friend and human translator Julia leave Mompos and head for Taganga, which is a tiny fishing village that´s been taken over by hippy´s and people who take advantage of the cheap PADI diving. There´s more dread locks here than at Carnival. I´m leaving soon because I´m going to kill a hippy if I stay.
No comments:
Post a Comment