Fear and self loathing in Las London

The fear as I left work was palpable, and I had many reasons to be fearful:

1. There was a break in the shitty weather, but it could easily have kicked off again
2. I'd been back to the homeland for a wedding, and rather than go for a run I ended up loving the amazing hospitality and did nothing.
3. And finally, and most frightful of all, was the delivery of my Virgin London Marathon running number.

I stared at those 5 digits for a long time, and I knew that they were just numbers, but they felt like 5 paragraphs explaining to me in very great detail about how difficult the next month was going to be, and how ill equipped I am to deal with it.

Anyway, plagued with self doubt I went for a run. Why did all the other runners look like they were running faster than me? Why was it taking me a long time for me to pass the people WALKING in front of me? Why was my breathing so heavy? How was I going to manage 26 miles?

Questions were piling up as I rounded London Wall, I crossed the road and ran across a loose electricity man hole cover. This must have caused a bit of noise because this poor girl in front of me jumped into the air and put her hands up to her face. I cracked a laugh, and she calmed down a bit.

I turned up Bishopsgate and knew that I need to open up my pace. As I ran past the T building the Thursday night 'off for a Vietnamese' crowd were milling about. I swerved a few, and ran on the road when I had to. As I got back onto the pavement I passed a friend who was wandering with a couple of ladies.

I must have shouted a bit louder than really necessary when I passed him because he had the 'pedo caught in front of the school gates' look about him. What was quite surprising about the encounter is that I found myself speeding up as I left him, because I was paranoid that I was running really slowly, and I didn't want him thinking that I was rubbish. Oh the misplaced vanity!

I caught home in just under 30 mins, which turned out to be pretty good as it goes.

I've started a whey protein supplement today, as recommended by a pal of mine. I have to admit that it did work out really well, I felt stronger through the run, and feel good now while I write this. If I mix this with the clean living and focused training, I reckon I can banish these little worries and totally smash this marathon.